You may want to shower your husband or boyfriend with compliments, but that doesn’t mean he enjoys getting them. There are some that make him cringe, while others will make him embarrassed. Here are some of the common compliments that you may want to stop giving him—but that doesn’t mean stop complimenting him altogether!
“Thank You for Trying, but I Do It Faster/Better”
You moan all the time about your husband trying to help with the tidying up or the washing, but then you find that when he does it, it is not to your liking. You can’t have it both ways.
Instead of putting the “but I do it…” at the end, simple thank him for doing it. Remember that he has his own way of doing something and you can’t make him change to yours. If you don’t want him doing it, don’t moan!
“I’m Amazed at You…”
If you make it sound like you’re shocked he managed to do something, it will make him resent you.
It comes across that you doubted he could do something in the first place. He wants to hear that you love the fact that he can fix something, and you’re his go-to guy when something breaks down.
If he can’t do something, he won’t want to admit it and will try it anyway; but needs you to believe in him. Just say thank you for doing it and maybe “I knew you could.”
“I Always Rely on You”
It’s a lot for a man to hear. It means that all your emotional needs are going to him. When you need to talk to someone, he knows that he has to be the one to hear it.
He may be uncomfortable with this, or simply can’t handle everything. It’s not a compliment in his eyes. He wants you to have other friends that you can talk to about things—what happens when you’re stressed about something he’s done?
“It’s the Thought That Counts”
It’s a common saying, but really you’re saying that he hasn’t done something quite as you expected. Or he may have gotten the wrong gift. This tells him that you expect more from him, or he still doesn’t really know you.
If he has got you something that you really don’t like, think about what he could get you next year and give him some ideas. That way, he can learn more about what you like without feeling undervalued.
“You’re the Extra Child in the House”
You may mean it in a good way, but it says to him that you’re turning into his mother.
This does depend on the relationship between you and whether he knows that you’re joking about it—or saying it due to one specific thing. If you’re joking around, it is fine.
However, when it comes to disciplining the children, you need to tell him that you need him on your side now and then—he can’t always play with the children and that’s all.